And That's When the Fight Started

 ENJOY
 
 One year, a husband decided to buy his mother-in-law a cemetery  plot as a
 Christmas gift.
 
 The next year, he didn't buy her a gift.
 
 When she asked him why, he replied, "Well, you still haven't used  the gift
 I bought you last year!"
 
 And that's how the fight started.....
 
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My wife walked into the den & asked "What's on the TV?"  I replied "Dust"..
 
> And that's how the fight started.....
>
> ********************************************************************** **
> A woman is standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror. She is not  happy
> with what she sees and says to her husband, 'I feel horrible;  I look old,
> fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.'
>
> The husband replies, 'Your eyesight's still perfect.'
>
> And that's how the fight started.....
>
> ********************************************************************** **
> My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming  anniversary. She
> said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to  200 in about 3 seconds.. '
> I bought her a bathroom scale.
>
> And that's how the fight started.....
>
> ********************************************************************** **
> I asked=2
0my wife, 'Where do you want to go for our anniversary?'
>
> It warmed my heart to see her face melt in sweet appreciation.
>
> 'Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!' she said.
>
> So I suggested, 'How about the kitchen?'
>
> And that's when the fight started....
>
> ********************************************************************** **
> My wife and I are watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we  were in
> bed. I turned to her and said, 'Do you want to have sex?'
>
> 'No,' she answered.
>
> I then said, 'Is that your final answer?'
>
> She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying 'Yes.'
>
> So I said, 'Then I'd like to phone a friend.'
>
> And that's when the fight started....
>
> ********************************************************************** *
> When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her  someplace
> expensive. So, I took her to a gas station.
>
> And that's when the fight started.....
>
> ********************************************************************** **
> I tried to talk my wife into buying a case of Miller Light for  $14.95.
> Instead, she bought a jar of cold cream for $7.95. I told  her the beer
> would make her look better at night than the cold cream.
>
> And that's when the fight started.....
>
> *****************  *****
**************************************************
> My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion,  and I kept
> staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat  alone at a nearby
> table.
>
> My wife asked, 'Do you know her?'
>
> 'Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my old girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking
> right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear  she hasn't been
> sober since.'
>
> 'Well!' says my wife. 'Who would think a person could go on  celebrating
> that long?'
>
> And that's when the fight started.....
>
> **************************************************************
> I rear-ended a car this morning. So, there we were alongside the  road and
> slowly the other driver got out of his car.
>
> You know how sometimes you just get soooo stressed and little  things just
> seem funny?
>
> Yeah, well I couldn't believe it. He was a DWARF!!!
>
> He stormed over to my car, look ed up at me, and shouted, 'I AM NOT
> HAPPY!!!'
>
> So, I looked down at him and said, 'Well, then which one are you?'
>
> And that's when the fight started.....
>
> ********************************************************************** **
> I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took  my order
> first. 'I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please.'
>
 
> He said, 'Aren't you worried about the mad cow?'
>
> 'Nah, she can order for herself.'
>
> And that's when the fight started.....
> 
>